Rome....Through My Eyes...

As we drove to the monastery the first thing I noticed was graffiti everywhere. And I do mean everywhere. Either they have alot of gangs, teens with time on their hands, or find this as a form of art. We pulled up to the monastery, checked in and headed for the elevator. OR...what I like to call an oversized MRI machine. No air flow, very small, we barely fit with our luggage. I felt like I needed a valium every time I got in...haha Our last day in Rome we got stuck in this elevator. It landed on the main floor but wouldn't open. We stood there pushing buttons. Nothing ! We tried the "phone" button. Nothing ! We then proceeded to bang on the door. Nothing ! Finally Doug pried the door open and we stepped down to the lobby area (it got stuck about a foot from the bottom floor....NICE !)

You quickly realized when walking that "road rules" were not the same as the US. It's a total free for all. There are pedestrian markings, but rarely heeded to. Cars drive through neighborhoods or alley's as if they were on the freeway. Motorcycles and scooters crowd the road, weaving in and out of traffic and around people. When I've watched movies where they are going down narrow alleys, speeding along....I now know that they didn't make that stuff up. Compact cars & motor bikes show up in the narrowest of alleys nearly pinning you against the wall to prevent from being hit. This is also interesting considering cafe's line the alleys and sidewalks.

Even with all of that going on, you can't miss the beauty of Rome. You look around to see old buildings full of so much character, worn, weathered. The roads are cobblestone. Shutters are outside of every window, flower boxes full of flowing greenery & flowers line the balconies. (the first thing I did when arriving in our room was to throw open the shutters. We also left them open at night when we got back to enjoy the street chatter of the locals having a good time.) It's interesting that outside of alot of windows you will see two hooks on either side to place a rod or rope. I saw that some people hang their clothes on here to dry. Very resourceful !

Our monastery was more or less in a neighborhood (about 5 blocks from the Vatican). I loved that we made this choice. In the mornings, and early evenings, you would hear the restaurant workers shout down the street to locals walking along, or greeting them in the morning when they came in for coffee. We had a bakery down the street that every time you passed their doors (even when they were closed) the kitchen door would be swung open and you would see them in there rolling dough, baking....The smell alone made it worthwhile to walk by.

To get lost in a city of this size would be like getting lost in Chicago....but you can't speak the language. We spent one day hopping off trains, onto buses, onto trains....trying to find our way around. It took almost a good two days before we learned the bus system and how it worked.

We loved the history, the stories. In fact, we couldn't take pics of it but we saw where the Apostle Peter was buried. It was amazing. Glassed in, it looked like an enormous marble mausoleum. It was beautiful. The depths this city has gone to in honoring Christ, the Apostles, and Christianity is amazing.

Rome is beautiful in the day, but the night is when it comes alive. Cafe's are lit with mood lighting, they line the sidewalks. One right after another. The tables are so close together you might as well be sitting with strangers. Our last day in Rome was just such a case. We sat between a Canadian couple and an Australian couple. We chatted (enjoyed the fact we were all English speaking..haha) It was fun ! One thing I learned on this trip was Australian people are SUPER friendly ! Makes me want to go visit there! =)
It's not unusual for people to just walk up while you are eating trying to sell you flowers, or scarves, or play a flute or accordion (for tips). If you are eating on the Piazza you will see streets acts, people spray painting pictures while you watch, singing groups...... No lack of entertainment !

Italian food, Pizzeria's, gelato (coconut might be my favorite) , cannoli.....all are just a few things you will eat in Rome. Water fountains are more like water spickets. You can lean over and drink straight from it or always carry a water bottle. I drank more water than anything while there. Coffee's are about two swallows and you're done. It feels like you are having a pretend tea party with little girls ! haha

If you've never considered Rome, I'm here to tell you that you should. My friend asked me to describe it in one word. The only thing that came to mind was "ambience". It's all about personality, atmosphere and character.

I threw a coin in Trevi Fountain hoping to return one day ! Let's hope wishes really do come true =)

My Family....My Heart.....

Inheritance - the practice of passing on property, titles, debts, rights and obligations upon the death of an individual.

I’ve always thought this was such an odd thing. You get (inherit)things from your family, whether you may want it or not, sometimes
whether you deserve it or not, because you are part of the family. And people actually ARGUE when they feel they’ve been cheated.
Hmmmm……..you didn’t earn it. But you deserve it. Right.

When mom passed away in 2012 all the things you’ve talked about amongst yourselves “hypothetically” became in your face
reality. Dad was moving things in to our names, we were signing papers, it was ALL just a bit overwhelming at the time. Since mom preceded her own mother in death (who died 8 months later) suddenly we found ourselves in the midst of “inheritance”.

My mamaw and papaw were not rich people. Papaw retired from Exxon Refinery. He worked hard, did shift work and provided for his family. But they were by no means rich. In my lifetime I don’t remember mamaw working outside the home. That doesn’t mean she
didn’t work. They were constantly taking in “stray people” that didn’t have a place to live or were going through a hard time. Mamaw cooked meals for sick people & taught Sunday School, they were active in their local church, and they loved God with all their heart.

Papaw missed the farm terribly so he took an early retirement, left the city and headed to open pastures. He built a beautiful house (with his own hands) on land they owned and had “inherited”. He was only able to enjoy that life for about 3 years. Shortly after he retired he found out he had Lo Gehrig’s Disease. He died shortly after.

So here’s mamaw, living out in the country (nearest neighbor was about ½ a mile) by herself, on about 250 acres of land, and had
no work experience. I still marvel even today that she lived as a widow for over 30 years without ever having to go to work or be a
burden on her family.

There was a small “cabin”, for lack of a better word, that sat on the property and she leased it out to deer hunters. There were also several people who occupied that little shack when they couldn’t afford anything else. She leased the land for gravel. She
leased the land for other farmers to put their cows on. She leased the land for them to drill for oil. It was truly amazing how “land” and my papaw’s small retirement from Exxon kept her alive for over 30 years. And now my mom’s mineral rights were passed on to us girls and they will be passed on to our kids.

She ended up selling the house with the land that it sat on, built a smaller house closer to neighbors and lived there for a while. Once she reached her middle 80’s it was time to move near her daughters. She sold her house and the rest of the farm. She managed to only live with mom & dad a short while, then moved into assisted living. She was able to financially take care of herself until the day she died at 95. AND……there was still a little money left. Sometimes I think of their life...how simple it was. They didn't need all the latest rage. They made do with what they had. And they were able to take care of themselves until their dying day. I'm sure there's a lesson there somewhere.

This is where “I” come in. I had no idea. Never even crossed my mind. Since mom had passed her portion was divided between us three girls. Wow ! Just because of my bloodline. I found this not only a gift but a responsibility. After all, this wasn’t MY money. I
didn’t earn it. In fact, lots of labor for generations had gone in to me receiving anything. No telling how much it
took for my “Great’s” to accumulate and buy that much land. I wanted to make Papaw and Mamaw proud with my choices.

My Papaw was a no nonsense man. He never liked being away from home. He would come to visit and was ready to go home in two days. He didn’t need anything fancy. He loved the farm and that was good enough for him. He was “practical”. He may not have been rich but he always managed to have a couple of quarters in his pocket to take you down to the General Store to buy a pushup. Enough money to put gas in his car and truck so you could drive it all over that farm before your feet could even touch the pedals. Mamaw. on the other hand, loved pretty things. Papaw was fairly strict so she only occasionally bought a piece of “glass” as she called it. When he passed she not only took care of her needs, bought a few “pretty’s” but actually traveled overseas with my Aunt and Uncle. I was so proud of her.

So here I am, trying my hardest to figure out what to do with THEIR money.

I decided to please them both. I did the practical first: bought glasses for everyone, paid for car repairs, paid for a wedding,
etc…….but I really wanted to do something special, something a little frivolous…like mamaw ! Something “just for fun” !

Several bucket list items came in to play. I wanted a passport. I wanted a stamp in my passport. I wanted to be able to fly overseas(that’s HUGE…never thought I’d be able to make it that long in a plane over water). I’m just a few shorts weeks away from making that dream come true thanks to my grandparents.

I hope they would be proud with my choices. I would love to sit down and thank them personally. Not for my monetary inheritance as much as for the tremendous inheritance I received from having them in my life. For their Christian example. For their work ethic. For their love for people. For their giving spirit. For being the greatest grandparents a girl could ever have. I guess until I get to heaven this will have to do……

“All roads lead to Rome….and we’ll always have Paris” Thank you so much ! I love and miss you both !

I Wish My Eyes Could Take Photos.....

I really haven’t wanted to write a Christmas Blog this year. I haven’t wanted to send Christmas cards. I didn’t take a Family Christmas Picture. My basic thoughts have been….just get through it ! Then my friend said he had been checking my blog and noticed there hadn’t been any new posts. I thought about that a while and this is what I came up with….

I recently acquired a new camera. A camera that I can’t seem to work. A camera that is waaayyy beyond my expertise. Then I saw a quote the other day that said, “I wish my eyes could take photos”. If they could...this is what you would see……

It’s late. We’ve been traveling for hours and we’ve finally arrived. We come stumbling in, greeted by mom, no makeup, two pink sponge rollers on either side of her face, nightgown with some sort of big shirt thrown over it. She’s in the kitchen before we barely get in the door. Food adorns the countertops. Snacks, desserts, bags of food are everywhere. She’s immediately asking the boys if they are hungry, ready to whip up a feast at the drop of a hat. Dad comes stumbling in (he’s been in bed since 9:00). We start to visit as if we aren’t going to be there for the next few days. The hours creep on before we all head to bed.

We awake to the smell of whatever mom has on her menu: homemade cinnamon rolls, gravy & biscuits, egg casserole….you never know what but it’s always good. Boys are everywhere...their bodies seem to sprawl across every open space (there are so many of them). The ladies clean up then take over all the bathrooms in the house. Good luck if you take a shower and the water is actually hot.

Everyone heads to the mall to do last minute shopping, it’s Christmas Eve & we’re almost out of time. Hours tick away & we rush home to get dressed and we’re off to our tradition of eating out on Christmas Eve (yes...we get a break from cooking). Christmas Eve Service follows, we sing about the Christ child, we take communion, & we are once again reminded of what this Season is all about.

Family pics are taken after...we are the last ones to leave the church. This seems to be a lifelong thing for our family. We have to be the last ones out. Lol We arrive at home to mom’s homemade eggnog. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing better. Like drinking homemade ice cream. Mom also makes the BEST grilled cheese. I still can’t do it like her.

After everyone invades the kitchen and is filled to the brim we are suppose to head downstairs to the basement. We are a loud, opinionated, loud, hard to carouse, loud, fun, loud, talkative, LOUD family. This adventure to the basement seems to take hours before everyone is on the same page and downstairs. Mom is armed with the camera & is busy snapping any & every memory making moment.

Dad & mom have typically prepared games, or contests, or riddles & rhymes, for this part of the evening which involves gift giving. It’s fun and crazy...oh and did I mention LOUD ? Pictures are taken...memories made. After kisses and hugs and thank you’s we finally make our way to bed.

Christmas Day involves a lot of cooking, cleaning up and washing of the fine china ! The table is beautiful, everyone is dressed better than normal, and the food is worth the wait. This day is typically low key. Guys play pool, throw a football outside, a puzzle is put together (a yearly tradition), ads are read, talking is plentiful, and it’s a great day of family.

I started this blog with, “I wish my eyes could take photo’s”. Apparently, they already have and it’s been engraved on my heart forever. Beautiful memories…..life long treasures !

Wishing You and Your Family The Same...
Merry Christmas from Me to You =)

Snapshots !

Surprise. Tears. Engagement. Excitement. Shopping. Planning. Teamwork. Decisions. Stress. Coordinating. Expenses. Anticipating. Reflecting. Love. Joy. Forever.

What a journey. If you survive this process, you feel like you can survive anything. LoL Little do you realize at the time, it’s just the beginning of going through this same process over and over and over again. Life.

It’s hard as a mom not to reflect. To think of your son as that same little boy who use to sway back and forth to the beat of the music coming out of a ghetto box. (age 12 months) Time flies as you watch your kids growing up right before your very eyes.

I’m sure my parents felt the same way….although I really don’t remember it that way. I vividly remember the day of my wedding my mom blowing my eyes (telling me not to cry or it would mess up my makeup) and my dad asking me at the top of the aisle (right as we were getting ready to make our entrance) if I wanted to back out ? Not because he was unsure, he just wanted to make sure I was. NOT the time for a daddy/daughter moment to say the least….haha

This has been a year we won’t likely forget any time soon. Memories…. some good, some bad, some sad….. The wedding will be no different. We will take mental snapshots throughout the entire process and it will be filed away in our hearts forever. I’ll share just a few with you.

In light of those special people (grandparents) who can’t be with us for this special day…..my sisters will enter, escorted by my dad, carrying a single rose to represent my mom. The same will happen with Doug’s sisters representing their mom, and the same for Aubrey’s side of the family. The roses will be placed on the front pew, set aside to honor those we love who cannot be with us. Snapshot.

Aubrey opted to use the wedding cake topper from my parents wedding, over 51 years old. We also used this topper on our wedding cake. It’s now being passed to the third generation (mom would be beaming). There are no magical powers in that topper…..but just a representation of the foundation these marriages were built on and hopefully are being passed along. They will also be using the goblets from our wedding, 27 years old. CHEERS kids. Snapshot.

There are several articles being used that were my moms. When we were going through her things we found a brand new “serving set” for a wedding cake along with 4 sets of brand new silverware. We weren’t sure if she had started putting back gifts for the grandkids or not. (they are being put to good use, mom). There are several brand new picture frames, doily table coverings, old small lanterns, a face duster that was given to her on her graduation day…still in the box with a card. We are using all of these items. While she may not physically be with us, her presence will be felt everywhere. Snapshot.

I’m sure there will be many more snapshots……when Jordan first see’s Aubrey…when I see Jordan standing there like the adult man he is….when they are announced as husband and wife……their first dance……the daughter/dad and mother/son dance…..family……..

Memories. Laughter. Tears. Reflecting. Relaxing. Welcoming. Peace. Joy. Love. Forever.

Snapshots !

Things That Really Matter......

I've been teased by my family for qutie some time about not saving stuff. If it isn't nailed down, you just might find it in the trash. That doesn't mean I don't save anything...that just means I don't save everything. I'm sure alot of that has come from not having alot of room, no basement, and having to climb in attics or storage units where rats just wait for my arrival. LOL

I tend to keep things of significance. I thought it might be fun to open up my little "trunk of treasures" and share a few with you.

A Disney Bracelet: a friend brought this back to me in fifth grade. When you open the book that's a charm, a tri-fold piece of paper with Disney Characters pops out. Sjignificance: besides our friendship, the night she gave this to me my entire famiy nearly died. Unbeknownst to us, the water heater in our house had a pipe that rusted off and we had been breathing carbon monoxide for quite some time. The doctor told us if it had been even a few more hours, we all would have died. I will never forget that night. The bracelet reminds me of friendship and life.

A Pearl Heart Pendant: My Grandma Woods gave all us girls a pearl, heart broche from my great grandmother. Significance: not only a family heirloom but since Grandma only had boys, the first experience for her passing on something to "daughters"...even if it was granddaughters.

Tiara: Jr. High Homecoming Queen. Significance: The first time I realized I just might be able to break out of my "shell of shyness" and be the out going, friend loving, person I wanted to be. A huge confidence booster for me at age 14.

Promise Ring: Given to me by my first boyfriend, first love. A very special person who practically raised me. I started dating him when I was 14 and dated him off and on for about 3 1/2 years. Significance: I kept it tucked away to give to my daughter when she turned 13 (a teenager) to talk about dating, love, purity, etc... About two years ago (when I finally decided I wouldn't be able to give it away) I pulled it out of it's ring box and wear it on my pinkie. Fond memories of fun times in my life.

Nugget Necklace: Given to me by my dad. My first year in college, me & my older sister were going at the same time and dad said Christmas might be a little "light". He always gave us a gift just from him. That Christmas he had all his rings melted down and had nuggets made for all the ladies in the family and had one of his stones put in each one. Significance: Always reminding me of sacrificial love. At times when I lived far away, I would have that necklace on, and when I was feeling homesick, I would just reach up and hold onto that nugget. Amazing the comfort a gift can bring.

Smile File: When we started ministry at 22, we went to a conference and heard this lady speak. Ministry isn't easy...EVER. She was encouraging us and she told us to make a "smile file". Every time someone sent us a note of something good we did, put it in the file. On the days when people were just being a pain in the butt (my paraphrase of course) pull out the cards and read them. We've had one ever since. I still put cards in there even though we left ministry a while ago. Significance: Everyone needs to be reminded of the good things they do every once in a while.

Cross Bracelet: My moms cross bracelet. I really don't know how much she wore it but when we were going through her stuff, I found it in her jewelry box. Significance: Besides it just being hers, the crosses remind me of how she lived her life. Such a symbol of her. I wear it every day....somehow it makes me feel I take a part of her with me wherever I go.

These are just a few of my treasures. I don't know about you but daily life and all the pettiness that comes with it, sometimes makes me lose focus of the important things, things that really matter. Treasures that have helped me grow and become the person I am today. People who have occupied or just passed through my life, all contributing some sort of significance thats made me.....me ! If nothing else, I hope this blog makes you stop, take a moment, and think about all the things that matter most in your life. You won't regret it =) Love ya !!

The Boycott

I live in a very suburban area. The houses are built close together with barely enough yard space between them to have grass to sink your toes into. In fact, I’m fairly certain if I opened my window, I could reach out and wash the windows of my neighbor, if I felt so inclined to do so. We aren’t talking “Little House On The Prairie” here…where animals would have miles of land to roam free. With that scenario, you would expect varmints.

So WHY, OH WHY am I living in Animal Kingdom ? I dealt with a rat in my attic for close to 6 months before anyone would believe me and do something about it. Over a week now I’ve been dodging HUMAN SIZED lizards who won’t leave my tiny suburban yard, camping out on my patio furniture (so I won’t go outside and read) and NOW, I was awakened at 4:00 this morning to some sort of plastic wrap chewing, hopping around, moving animal, either in my vent, under my bed or outside of my window. It started to sound like “surround sound” so it’s hard to tell.

Typical routine ensued…I listened…and listened some more (just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming or wasn’t crazy..lol) Then I punched Doug, said “ssshhhh”….then NOTHING. “Wait…wait………..THERE it is, did you hear ?” Doug “No”. We repeat this routine. Me…hearing it VERY loudly. Deaf man…hearing nothing. (you would think after our last rat adventure he would just accept “I’m right”…there’s something there and at this point even pretend to hear it….cause LORD KNOWS we aren’t going back to sleep until HE HEARS IT !!!!) He storms off to the bathroom (because I woke him up for nothing) and I’m left alone in the room, glued to my bed, being tormented by this animal that is hopping, dragging plastic, chewing….to the point I’m literally breaking out in a sweat.

Let’s stop for a second here and discuss, “why do some animals only come out at night”. BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEY AREN’T INVITED AND SHOULD NOT BE HERE ! When we lived in Arizona…animals just owned the place. I arrived home one day to wild hogs crossing the street, came around and they were hanging out at the fence in my back yard (these were big enough to ride). Coyotes often frequented the flower beds and they weren’t intimidated by you. Tarantula’s glued themselves to the walls outside..no inhibition…no hiding. Jack Rabbits….not cute little bunnies…invading your flowers…they didn’t care if you saw them. Oh well. Javelina’s out and about. You expected that these kids owned the place and were just allowing you to live there. Don’t bother them and they will not torment you and let you live.

HERE…things are creeeeepy ! Always in the dark, or lurking around. Hiding in your ceiling, or walls. Waking up innocent women who just want to sleep in peace.

After an “animated exchange of words” I grabbed my pillow and left to sleep in the den. The boycott has begun. Envision picket signs being made, “heck no, I won’t stay, make the animals go away” ! Negotiations will be on the table….some haggling will take place….but I will not sleep in that bedroom another day until we’ve reached a “peace treaty” (meaning….FIND THE VARMINTS AND GET RID OF THEM) !!

If I wanted to live at a zoo, I would. End of story! =)

"I'll Love You Forever......."

“I’ll love you forever….I’ll like you for always….as long as I’m living….my baby you’ll be.” I remember the first time I ever heard this quote (from the book “I’ll Love You Forever”)…I cried like a baby. What a way to rip a mom’s heart out. Especially a mom of boys.

What is it about the last one leaving home that just seems to put you in a tail spin? In just a few short days my baby is leaving the nest, flying the coop, heading north, leaving the cave…well, you get it. Tan is special…not just because he’s the baby, but he’s also the child who has lived with me the longest completely by himself. Four years…no one to share the daily attention with. All eyes focused on him.

We’ve also had to become a “team”. Right after Tyler left…Doug started traveling. A LOT ! That left me & Tan at home alone…A LOT ! He went from a dominant male house to just me & him. In the beginning, we had a lot of “quiet & painful” dinners out…just the two of us. Weird for two people who are use to a lot of noise, sarcasm, talking, and sharing at the table. But somehow, through it all, we’ve become buds.

Instead of writing a weepy and whiney blog about how sad I am, I decided I would share a few things I love about Tanner.

~I love that in 8th grade he got signed up for long distance track (had never ran track before) & instead of giving up as he got lapped by all the runners, he trotted by the stands, waved to the crowd, & flashed his pearly whites. The stands loved it.
~I love that he is so competitive. (I also hate that he’s so competitive..haha)
~I love that he took a negative “obsessive compulsive disorder” and turned it into a positive. He decided if he was going to be compulsive it might as well be about something healthy. He exercises religiously and has the biceps to prove it =)
~I love that whatever he puts his mind to; he finds success by doing his best.
~I love that he takes pride in his work.
~I love that he’s never missed curfew, I’ve never had to monitor his grades, nor his money.
~I love that when I was told I was losing my job in the school district and came home crying uncontrollably, he never asked a word, but walked over and put his arm around me while I cried.
~I love that whenever I showed up at school, for any event, he would come over and hang out, chat, and acknowledge my presence.
~I love that he could care less what others think about his relationship with his parents.
~I love that he loves hanging out with his brothers more than anybody else in his life.
~I love that you never have to guess what he’s thinking. Just wait 45 seconds and he will tell you. =)
~I love that after the boys arrived at my parent’s house, after mom died, he was the first son to walk over and put his arm around me. He also does this quite often in church on Sundays (one of my hardest days).
~I love that he’s not ashamed of what he believes and “walks the walk” to prove it.
~I love that he loves God and understands the importance He is in his life.
~I love that right after mom’s death, just a week later, he had to pull off being the lead in the school musical…and he did it.
~I love that every night, at curtain call; he would take his bow then throw a kiss to heaven. (I hope Sanma got a glimpse…just once)
~I love that 18+ years ago God decided I needed just one more boy
~I love that he told us (in so many words) that he’s going to miss us
~I love YOU….Tanner Austin Brodess and will miss you very much <3

Kids bring us joy. They change us. They challenge us. They turn our lives upside down and we often don’t remember life before them. They are the greatest blessing I’ve ever been given. I am one blessed momma.