A month ago today I posted a blog about "Transitions" ! WOW !!
This was an exact quote from that blog: "But I feel "transition" taking place in me. A time for change..a different step..a new direction. It's scary for me to let go of the familiar...to walk in the unfamiliar. I don't know if this will be forever...or just for a time. I feel transition taking place....now to only walk in it."
Can you imagine when I look back now..I have to wonder if God was somehow preparing me for what was to come ? I wrote that blog partly based on "changing churches..and changing demonimations". That "transition" has now been made. (my heart will always love the A/G..it has nothing to do with the denomination..as much as going to a church I want to attend).
I wrote that blog thinking maybe I was feeling antsy knowing in a year I would be entering "empty nest syndrome". I had actually talked to a friend about wanting to maybe some day work for a Disaster Relief Organization. (I was thinking future,not now). Next thing you know, I'm being told I'm going to be laid off, when just in the fall they had told us their plan was to not lay anyone off..maybe just rearrange people a bit. I was not ready for this "transition".
And now we are getting ready to add another "transition" to the pot. My oldest, Jordan, is moving home for a bit after finishing a 9 month internship. Don't get me wrong..I'm ecstatic ! But we have not had 5 people living under this roof "permanently" in over 5 years. Basically, from the time Jordan left for college..he's never come back home for more than a few weeks. We will have 4 adults living under one roof...we will ALL have a little "transition". =)
So...you're asking...what have I learned from all of this ?? Transition happens to everybody. There's nothing you can do to stop it..you just have to buckle yourself in and try to survive the ride. But here are a few tips from someone walking through it:
1. Look Inside !! Sometimes it's only through hard times do we really find out what we're made of. You get reacquainted with yourself all over again. You find out if you're a scrapper or a sloucher. It's not always bad getting to know YOU once again.
2. Look Around !! Latch on to those that are around you..caring..supporting..
cheering you on. Some very important people in your life will rise to the top during this time. **Side note here: (I'm going to rant, so stop reading now if you don't want to hear it)! In ministry I was always amazed at people who seemed to disappear in a crisis. They wouldn't be there for their friends and their excuse was "I'm just not good with that kind of stuff" ! Well..newsflash people !! Very few individuals are born with sympathy, empathy, the right words to say, etc..! People become that way... BY DOING !! That's how I learned. I have a friend who was recently expressing their sadness over my job and he said, "I just don't know what to say!" My response, "you don't have to say anything....you can't fix it..but you CAN show up"! Alot of friendship is based on being willing to just show up!
3. LOOK UP ! I don't always understand God's ways. I get aggravated at Him, I let Him know that..haha....and believe it or not...I don't believe everything that happens in life is blamed on God. He didn't make the state or government get into debt...or spend uselessly..so that one day I would lose my job. We suffer consequences of the world....because we live in the world. It's called LIFE ! But after I get all my anger and frustration out...I know beyond a shadow of a doubt..there's nowhere I want to look except for UP... in order to gain peace that I can't receive anywhere else.
I hope that maybe..in some small way..if you are going through your own type of "transitions"..you will find a little comfort in knowing..you're not alone. We all make this journey at one time or another. And with God's help..we will all survive ! =)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Moments......
...brief periods of time. If you blink..they are gone...just as quickly as they came. We all have them: some are "Awwwww..moments" some are "Ooohhhh..moments"..
some are "YAY..moments" some are "Ouch..moments" some are so hard to describe, words can't explain it.
This has been a week of "moments" for me. It started Monday when my boss came flittin' through the office, leaned over and said, "could I see you for just a minute?" I grabbed my pen & pad ready to write down whatever project she wanted me to do, only to discover "it wasn't one of those kind of moments". As she explained my situation to me, our eyes both filled with tears, and we had a "moment".
After work, I called Doug (who was out of town, of course) & my mom..to tell them the news and was finally able to let my guard down and cry. And cry I DID !! All the way home, at the pharmacy, into the house..so that by the time I got off the phone..I was crying so bad I couldn't speak. Tanner was sitting on the couch & asking, "what's wrong"...probably thinking someone had died. When I was finally able to "sob out words" I told him the news. I will never forget this as long as I live. He quietly closed his book, walked over to the couch, wrapped both arms around me and just held me while I cried. He didn't ask me any questions, he didn't say a word...and we had a "moment" I will never forget. (Side note here...I know some people would think it's horrible to let your kids see you so upset, or worried. In my opinion, the best thing we can teach our kids is "real life". Life is disappointment, failure, not fair...and showing our kids anything else is doing them a disservice. When they get older...and life hands them lemons..they'll know this is just a part of life, it's not personal. Now I have to show them how to dust myself off, pick myself up, and move on.)
My week has continued to have "moments" ! From everyone in the office helping me with my resume, to waking up each day to someone sending me a message, or posting on my wall... words of encouragement, "I'm thinking about you".."I'm praying for you"..Phone calls saying "do they know what they're losing" ? Each and every "moment" has reached me and touched me in a special way...and usually shows up at just the right time! =)
When tomorrow comes...today's worries will be a thing of the past..but these are the times I will always remember. The crisis will have passed, but the "moments" will always linger.........
some are "YAY..moments" some are "Ouch..moments" some are so hard to describe, words can't explain it.
This has been a week of "moments" for me. It started Monday when my boss came flittin' through the office, leaned over and said, "could I see you for just a minute?" I grabbed my pen & pad ready to write down whatever project she wanted me to do, only to discover "it wasn't one of those kind of moments". As she explained my situation to me, our eyes both filled with tears, and we had a "moment".
After work, I called Doug (who was out of town, of course) & my mom..to tell them the news and was finally able to let my guard down and cry. And cry I DID !! All the way home, at the pharmacy, into the house..so that by the time I got off the phone..I was crying so bad I couldn't speak. Tanner was sitting on the couch & asking, "what's wrong"...probably thinking someone had died. When I was finally able to "sob out words" I told him the news. I will never forget this as long as I live. He quietly closed his book, walked over to the couch, wrapped both arms around me and just held me while I cried. He didn't ask me any questions, he didn't say a word...and we had a "moment" I will never forget. (Side note here...I know some people would think it's horrible to let your kids see you so upset, or worried. In my opinion, the best thing we can teach our kids is "real life". Life is disappointment, failure, not fair...and showing our kids anything else is doing them a disservice. When they get older...and life hands them lemons..they'll know this is just a part of life, it's not personal. Now I have to show them how to dust myself off, pick myself up, and move on.)
My week has continued to have "moments" ! From everyone in the office helping me with my resume, to waking up each day to someone sending me a message, or posting on my wall... words of encouragement, "I'm thinking about you".."I'm praying for you"..Phone calls saying "do they know what they're losing" ? Each and every "moment" has reached me and touched me in a special way...and usually shows up at just the right time! =)
When tomorrow comes...today's worries will be a thing of the past..but these are the times I will always remember. The crisis will have passed, but the "moments" will always linger.........
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
What's Bugging Me ??
I’ve been churning that around in my head for quite a few months lately. I haven’t been able to pinpoint “one” specific thing that was putting me in a funk ! Mainly because…there are MANY !! haha But today….sitting on the floor at work…looking over some charts…I found myself subconsciously listening to the conversation that was going on all around me at my office. AND IT HIT ME !! THIS is “ONE” of the things that’s been bothering me…even without me realizing it.
I went to work for our school district, in the administration building, almost two years ago. From the time I’ve walked in..there has been talks about money..budget cuts, etc… Which of course seems pretty normal. Basic fact of life… things have to be trimmed, smarter decisions made, etc….. But starting about 7 months ago…this conversation took a different turn. Discussions started happening of people being laid off..moved around..you name it..it’s been talked about. At one point I wasn’t even sure if I was going to have a job….and still don’t know if that’s certain…or if I will stay at my current location. The district voted on providing a “buy out plan” to certain employees…if they wanted to retire early. People seem to be dropping like flies…and even more changes will be forthcoming. “Insecurity” would be considered the operative word of the day.
Then you go home to face your own giants of…lack of money…how are we going to do this…will this ever work out? I feel like I’m engulfed in a pool of “the unknown” and I can’t seem to swim out. You flip on the tv hoping to escape….and suddenly you’re encountered with the desperate needs of the world…lack of money…politics..tragedy, etc….. So much negativity ! It can be overwhelming !
It’s hard to be faced with this on a daily basis and still stay your positive, upbeat self. It’s hard not to feel weighted down, depressed, emotional….. On top of that….add a good dose of hormones, kids leaving home, changes in the family structure…and you have a MESS on your hands =( …OR what’s better known as “ME” !! =) I make no excuses……just trying to survive “the ride” !
One thing that I do know and holds steady for me is this….”Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:6-7 ~One of my favorite verses !!
I went to work for our school district, in the administration building, almost two years ago. From the time I’ve walked in..there has been talks about money..budget cuts, etc… Which of course seems pretty normal. Basic fact of life… things have to be trimmed, smarter decisions made, etc….. But starting about 7 months ago…this conversation took a different turn. Discussions started happening of people being laid off..moved around..you name it..it’s been talked about. At one point I wasn’t even sure if I was going to have a job….and still don’t know if that’s certain…or if I will stay at my current location. The district voted on providing a “buy out plan” to certain employees…if they wanted to retire early. People seem to be dropping like flies…and even more changes will be forthcoming. “Insecurity” would be considered the operative word of the day.
Then you go home to face your own giants of…lack of money…how are we going to do this…will this ever work out? I feel like I’m engulfed in a pool of “the unknown” and I can’t seem to swim out. You flip on the tv hoping to escape….and suddenly you’re encountered with the desperate needs of the world…lack of money…politics..tragedy, etc….. So much negativity ! It can be overwhelming !
It’s hard to be faced with this on a daily basis and still stay your positive, upbeat self. It’s hard not to feel weighted down, depressed, emotional….. On top of that….add a good dose of hormones, kids leaving home, changes in the family structure…and you have a MESS on your hands =( …OR what’s better known as “ME” !! =) I make no excuses……just trying to survive “the ride” !
One thing that I do know and holds steady for me is this….”Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:6-7 ~One of my favorite verses !!
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